well what do u knw?! im back writing here past midnight after two years. wow two years is some time. so much has happened these past two years yet no so much at the same time. since i was last here i was in search of .... hmm ....love?! direction, understanding...so as a second yr college student im sad to say that i still havent decided on a major which makes me feel like i have no direction in life, once again. just the same dilemma i was in during senior yr high school right? but i still havent lost hope bc i knw that i will eventually decide on a path and will be happy with it. what else is new...ive had two jobs since i wrote here, ive worked at walmart for ovr a yr (yeah i knw damn that was a while), and right now im working at the bank, although its not my cup of tea it sure beats cashiering at walmart! as for my social life, its basically non-existent, my high school friends are busy w school and their own social lives and i dont knw but these past two yrs ive slowly but not certainly realized that parties and big crazy crowds aren't my scene. id rather go 2 dinner or go out 4 a quick bite w a friend or two. with more intimate talk. yep thats what im in2. family, its ok, its as normal and dysfunctional as any. even though the moms isnt home as often as one should be, i think it just made all three of us learn how tofend 4 ourselves, which is a good thing but at the same time growing up lacking that aspect in ur life does create more emotional vulnerability. for sure though. i love my sis i wish i only hope that i can be there the way mom wasnt there 4me. oh well cant turn back the hands of time so we've learned how to deal. lastly but not necessarily the least important, ive been w "moos" for over almost 17months now and he's been a significant part of my life these months/yrs passed. although it hasnt been a perfect relationship, somethng about this one.....thats all im going to say about it. tomorrow isnt promised so make the best of what is 2day. all we can do is believe and hope for the best. well its been a good reflection so farewell for now xanga. | 
...something needs to happen so i can 
and finally be 
with everything...like a honda prelude SH! 
